The Lardner Report

Unleash your creative superpowers!

An Unexpected Collaboration With Nature

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(Pic #1) “Skeeter” – My modern day cave painting, formed by poured water on rock. Wildwood Regional Park, Thousand Oaks. Photo by Josh Kaplan.

I always carry a bottle of water on my hikes. But until yesterday, I never used it to make art. While walking up a tough trail, and just back from visiting a sweet waterfall, I spotted a blue streak smack in the middle of the parched, rocky path. There was dust over it — obfuscating its richness — so I decided to pour my Fiji over it to see the streak’s true colors. I splashed out the rest of my H2O supply and saw this creature emerge from the dusty rock.

Meet “Skeeter” (Pic #1)  I see him as sort of a spontaneous, creative collaboration between me and earth — a kind of ephemeral piece of performance art that vanishes before it’s complete.

Inspiration from Chaos

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I love discovering abstract art that evolves over time. This former traffic sign on the coastal stretch of the 101 freeway is definitely my jam. It showcases layers upon layers of paint, messaging, tagging and collage. While most likely spray-painted by different crews, a really cohesive color palette emerges at the end of the improvisational project. The colors, funked out font, and erratic energy inspire me every time. It’s always worth stopping to document SoCal’s most electric urban artwork.

Defiant Disorder In My Art? WTF?

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(Pic #1) The finished product, with a splash of defiance.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a real thing.  Johns Hopkins University defines it as “a pattern of defiant, uncooperative, hostile behavior —typically toward authority figures.” Experts say about 1 in 6 children and teens are struggling with ODD at any time.

Last week, I was tasked with creating a wearable art piece for the co-owner of one of sports’ most iconic franchises, the Boston Celtics. I had visions of exploding shamrocks splattered all over the sleeves, and showcasing the team’s official colors: Green, black, white, and gold.

(Pic #2) First shot at the background: Laker purple, really?

Like many artists,  I’m fascinated by contrast. When creating a color palette, I always like to see what colors will POP against others. For the Celtics jacket, I mixed up a stunning shade of lavender to sit next to a kelly green stripe. I was genuinely excited about energy the two colors sparked.

Husband Josh walks in as I was painting the background (Pic #2) and barks (in his best John McEnroe) “You can’t be serious about using Laker purple on this piece! Do you even have a clue about the bitter rivalry between the two teams?”

Well, yes, I do have a clue, and it did cross my mind that I should stay away from opposing team colors. But he was unconvinced.  Based on years of defiant behavior, he knew I would carry into my art project a sharp stubbornness that rears its ugly head every time I’m told there are rules — some form of conformity to which I must adhere. Lord, just writing that right now gives me the willies.

When I began to argue that the color was actually lavender — not purple — he knew I was fighting one of those fights — the kind that are based on nonsense , but I will defend to the end. I even tried lightening up the lavender paint with more white, about which he said, “it still reads Laker purple.”

Grudgingly, I gave up. The formerly “purple” stripe is now shiny gold (Pic #1) which is lucky, considering that’s part of the official Celtics’ brand, and oh, by the way, looks way better than what I’d painted first.

Okay, defy this, bitches.