The Lardner Report

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Russia: First Impressions (Part 1)

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(Pic #1) Flash of red: Saint Petersburg city bus

Introduction to Saint Petersburg: “Venice of the North”

Writing this post from the storied riverbanks of the Russian host city for the Saint Petersburg International Economic Forum. For the last 14 years, the conference gathers over 2,500 political and business leaders, entrepreneurs, scholars, and the media to exchange ideas on pressing world economic issues and policies. The city is packed. The traffic—“just like home.”

(Pic #2) Entering Saint Petersburg, St. Isaac’s Cathedral

I’m not exactly what you would consider to be “an expert” in global economics—in fact, you might say my comprehensive economic policy can be summed up in two words–

“OVERDRAFT PROTECTION.”

So I’ll stick to what matters: cool art, jaw-dropping architecture, and a few fun fast-food facts. What? Just hang with me…

Brief history:

Saint Petersburg, (formerly Leningrad) was founded in 1703 by order of the Russian Emperor, Peter the Great. Initially, the town was developed as a fortress and seaport, but developed into a center of economic prosperity and industry.

(For the record, I’ve always wanted to be addressed as “The Czarina.” I picked the perfect city for that to happen. But it never did. I guess real Czarinas don’t wear Rocket Dogs.)

This very European looking city sits on the Neva River on dozens of islands, and–because of its cultural and historical treasures–this “northern capital” is also known as “Venice of the North.” (Saint Petersburg ceased being the capital after the Russian Revolution of 1917.)

I arrived during the region’s famous “White Nights” period, when it’s daylight–at midnight—in fact it’s daylight almost all night long–and a bit disorienting.  But all the more time to really “see” the city.

Highlights for me—as usual—are visual “moments.” When we arrived in the heart of the city, I was jolted by the red-painted city buses (top) and the lack of outdoor diclofenac advertising and signage bombarding most of us on city streets in the states.

But that doesn’t mean an American cultural icon can’t be an integral part of Russia’s burgeoning urban landscape.

(Pic #5) Golden arches, golden smarches

Russia is the fastest growing market for McDonald’s in Europe. (Pic #5) When McDonald’s fast food restaurants first landed here—it made headlines. The photos of the first McDonald’s opening in Soviet Russia 20 years ago led to a 7-hour wait (Pic #6) in Moscow. The black and white photo below confirms it was a mega hit. A total of 30,000 Soviet citizens tasted hamburgers and Coca-Cola on the food giant’s first day.

(Pic #6) McDonald’s in Moscow: 1990

Now that I’ve steered the train this far off the track—maybe you remember this exchange between Vincent and Jules in “Pulp Fiction:”

VINCENT

…You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

JULES

They don’t call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

VINCENT

No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn’t knowwhat the f**k a Quarter Pounder is.

JULES

What’d they call it?

VINCENT

Royale with Cheese.

JULES

Royale with Cheese. What’d they Call a Big Mac?

VINCENT

Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but they call it “Le Big Mac.”

JULES

“Le Big Mac.” What do they call a Whopper?

VINCENT

I dunno, I didn’t go into a Burger King. But you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?

JULES

What?

VINCENT

Mayonnaise.

JULES

Goddamn!

Eat it, or write with it: Yes, it’s really squid ink.

Okay, I didn’t opt for the Big Mac or the Little Mac. But I did have a chance to experience he quirkiest little bread plate I’ve ever been served (left) at the tony “Lumiere” restaurant overlooking Arts Square and The Cathedral of the Resurrection.

The Chef flavored the  dinner rolls with black SQUID INK.

Wasn’t sure if I should eat it — or use it to refill  my printer cartridge.

London Art: Inside and Out (Part 2)

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Sweet treats at the Tate

Pic #1: What to you mean you have nothing to wear?

I always love a good visual jolt.  Art–in any form–that takes me by surprise—always takes home the blue ribbon. I only had a few hours to view work at the Tate Modern, but every floor showcased little treasures I hadn’t seen before and some quirky pieces I’d only read about.

Pic #2 "Venus of the Rags" (detail) by Michelangelo Pistoletto

This piece (Pics #1 and  #2) titled, “Venus of the Rags,” cracked me up. It was assembled in 1967 by Italian artist Michelangelo Pistoletto (b. 1933). There’s so much going on in this installation, that even way across the museum floor it amuses passersby.

As the Tate describes, “Venus of the Rags” juxtaposes “an iconic figure of classical culture with the detritus of contemporary society”—as the Roman love goddess leans against a chaotic pile of gaudily colored worn-out clothes (actually used by the artist to clean his previous paintings). The truth is, the figure is based on a kitsch statue found in a garden center. And she reminds me just how much I hate doing laundry.

This bizarre mix of classical art and second-hand junk is a highlight of The Tate collection. It’s representative of the 60s movement  founded in Italy known as “Arte Povera”–artistic statements created from everyday life, often using “poor” materials.

“Le Cadeau”

Hey, what's French for "re-gift?"

It’s the French word for “gift” and appears to be the perfect present for someone who needs to iron his mesh shirts.

Art historians tell us–by adding a row of nails–artist Man Ray transforms a household flat-iron into a new and potentially threatening object (right). “The sleeping aids nails and burning metal suggest a violent eroticism at odds with the work’s title.”  Gee, ya think?

Often described as a modernist,  Man Ray was a significant contributor to both the Dada and Surrealist movements along with conceptual genius Marcel Duchamp.

Duchamp was so iconic, award-winning Hollywood writer Aaron Sorkin worked him into trademark dialogue from NBC’s “The West Wing:”

C.J: “….an almost mind-blowing vortex of art and material that dares the viewers to recall Marcel DuChamp. Duchamp is the father of Dadaism.”

TOBY: “I know.”

C.J: “The Dada of Dada.”

TOBY: “It’s like there’s nothing you can do about that joke. It’s coming and you have to stand there.”

“The Snail” by Henri Matisse

Pic #4 "The Snail" by Henri Matisse

I happen to love an art lesson in one mindblowing moment. For me, this one is about breaking down an object  into its basic parts. Here, at 84, in the last year of his life, Henri Matisse cuts blocks of painted paper to create the centered spiral.

The minimalist “essence” of snail-–is clear—unless you’re my husband, who just walked in and looked at this and said, “How the hell to you see a snail in  that thing?”

“Carli” the fairy fashionista:

Sometimes, the “art” we see on the walls serves only as backdrop for the art we see everywhere else. Take “Carli” (Pic #5) –a creatively-dressed woman I encountered on the 3rd floor of the Tate. It made sense that she seemed to have stepped right out of her own fantasy world when I discovered she sells “fairly-traded faery wear” for children and adults. Her UK business card reads: “Clothes for all faeries, elves, pixies, nymphs, and gnomes.“

(Pic #5 ) Art "off the wall"


London Art: Inside and Out (Part 1)

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(Pic #1) London: Art in the alley

“Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. And his hope for other people is that they will also make it exist by observing it. I call it–creative observation–creative viewing.”     –William S. Burroughs

Art is everywhere—if you’re open to it. This week, I have the opportunity to explore the theory further—in Northern Russia, and the UK. My head won’t stop spinning over the onslaught of images bombarding me, not only inside the hallowed halls of historic institutions, but virtually everywhere on the street.

(Pic #2) Edge of London: Abstraction on the streets

I have 24 hours in London before flying to St. Petersburg and  the minute I leave the Northolt Jet Centre I’m assaulted by  an explosion of abstractions. I couldn’t resist documenting some of them. These funky street level bridge panels (Pic #2 left) were diazepam begging me to make them famous.

On my walk over to the Tate Modern, I take a short cut through Blackfriars Road, and slip into an alley to find this (Pic #1 top) quirky old basket by a gorgeous red wall with cerulean blue doors.

(Pic #3) London: Pacs in the Park

Then, across from Buckingham Palace, in Green Park, I discover a few of the 258 elaborately painted pacaderms–public art benefiting endangered Asian elephants and their habitat–sponsored by  elephantfamily.org.

Finally, I spot some new construction, adjacent to the Tate Modern that mystified me. (Pic # 4 – below)  Those massive crossbars that stretch across and block the windows on both sides of the structure, are apparently intended to be architecturally “decorative.” That cracked up one of the workmen, who told me the new owners of these exclusive 750K condos are investing in “rooms without a view.”

(Pic #4) London: Rooms without a view