The Lardner Report

Unleash your creative superpowers!

An Unexpected Collaboration With Nature

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(Pic #1) “Skeeter” – My modern day cave painting, formed by poured water on rock. Wildwood Regional Park, Thousand Oaks. Photo by Josh Kaplan.

I always carry a bottle of water on my hikes. But until yesterday, I never used it to make art. While walking up a tough trail, and just back from visiting a sweet waterfall, I spotted a blue streak smack in the middle of the parched, rocky path. There was dust over it — obfuscating its richness — so I decided to pour my Fiji over it to see the streak’s true colors. I splashed out the rest of my H2O supply and saw this creature emerge from the dusty rock.

Meet “Skeeter” (Pic #1)  I see him as sort of a spontaneous, creative collaboration between me and earth — a kind of ephemeral piece of performance art that vanishes before it’s complete.

Pathetic Shoe Obsession: WTF?

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(Pic #1) The “keep” pile that I’ll never wear again.

“When one door closes, a shoebox opens.” — Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

We decided to begin the dreaded task of de-cluttering the house this week. It’s no big deal to husband Josh, but to me, well, I’d rather shove an ice pick through my freshly-pedicured big toe.

When faced with letting go of “things” I’ve had for years — even decades — I just get paralyzed. Totally immobile, hopelessly frozen. I’m sure it’s some sort of childhood trauma rearing its ugly head, but I tend to ignore anything that requires authentic introspection.

So when it came to dealing with the shoe section in my closet (I’m guessing there were a minimum of 50 pairs) I just couldn’t commit to any serious elimination. I ended up collecting a box of heels  that are insanely uncomfortable, way too small, and pointless to keep. I said to Josh as I reverently held up a pair of Calvin Klein satin sling-backs, “How can these be a size 8? I’ve never worn a size 8.” (If you care, I wear a size 10.)

But man, are they cute.

Then I unearthed a pair of cinnamon-colored silk rose pedal-accented sandals that I absolutely couldn’t let go. (Pic #2) Ga-ga-gorgeous — but unwearable.

And man, are they cute. (Pic #2)

If you have experienced this kind of uncontrollable obsession (clinging to useless objects for absurd sentimental reasons) please contact me. I just need to know my issues are not “solely” my own.

(Pic #2) Silk rose pedal-accented spikes.

 

 

 

 

 

Inspiration from Chaos

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I love discovering abstract art that evolves over time. This former traffic sign on the coastal stretch of the 101 freeway is definitely my jam. It showcases layers upon layers of paint, messaging, tagging and collage. While most likely spray-painted by different crews, a really cohesive color palette emerges at the end of the improvisational project. The colors, funked out font, and erratic energy inspire me every time. It’s always worth stopping to document SoCal’s most electric urban artwork.